[Intro]
Strum
[B] [E] [A] [C#] [B]
|-----------|-----------|
[B] [E] [A]
|-----------|----------------|
[Verse 1]
[B]We'd been [E]friends for many [A]years
Until I [C#m]finally conf[B]essed
[B]That I've [E]always loved you [A]dearly
But y[C#m]ou were unimp[B]ressed
[B]If I can [E]never be your [A]lover
I'll ac[C#m]cept our des[B]tiny
B E A [pause]
And I'll embrace your gift of friendship
As I jack off constantly
[Chorus]
[E]Oh, I[B]'ll be there to l[F#]ift you when you fal[B]l
[E]With one arm around your [B]shoulder and the [F#]other on my bal[B]ls
[E]Oh, i[B]f you need me y[F#]ou just have to call
[G]Cause I'll be next to [F#7]you
Masturbating
[B] [E] [A] [C#]
[B] [E] 1[A], 2, 3, let's do it!
[Verse 2]
[B]Through the [E]good times and the [A]bad
I will do [C#]everything [B]I can
[B]Like if you e[E]ver need help m[A]oving
I can [C#m]jerk off in the[B] van
[B]If your car [E]breaks on the r[A]oad
I'll grab my [C#m]crank and pick y[B]ou up
B E A [Pause]
And we can drive away together
As I lotion up my junk
[Chorus]
[E]Oh, it [B]doesn't matter [F#]where our lives will lead u[B]s
[E]I will always stand be[B]side you, both in s[F#]pirit and in peni[B]s
[E]Oh, ex[B]cuse me but I h[F#]ave to go dry clean this
[G]Cause I've been next to [F#7]you
Mastur[G]bating
[Bridge]
[G]Look, I know this may seem weird,[F#] but it's not
[F#]Every friendship I've ever had has been like this
[G]You should know that I'm not doing this for myself
It's partly for you, [A]but most of all[G], I'm d[A]oing this[F#]
For America!
[Chorus]
[E]Oh, [B]tell me every[F#]thing that's in your hear[B]t
[E]This is Claire, we're gonna [B]make out
You just [F#]go ahead and star[B]t
[E]If it escalates to [B]boning
It means I'm [F#]listening super hard
[G]Cause I'll be next to [F#7]you
[E]Oh, wait, Claire [B]brought a friend
We're [F#]gonna have a threesom[B]e
[E]And a crowd of people's [B]gathered
To watch me b[F#]ang both her and Lis[B]a
[E]Oh, when [B]this is done you and [F#]I are getting pizza
[G]Cause I'll be next to [F#7]you
Mastur[B]bating
[B] [E] [A]Slash having a threesome with [C#m]Clair[B]e
[B] [E] But still masturbating [A]
Strum
[B] [E] [A] [C#] [B]
|-----------|-----------|
[B] [E] [A]
|-----------|----------------|
[Verse 1]
[B]We'd been [E]friends for many [A]years
Until I [C#m]finally conf[B]essed
[B]That I've [E]always loved you [A]dearly
But y[C#m]ou were unimp[B]ressed
[B]If I can [E]never be your [A]lover
I'll ac[C#m]cept our des[B]tiny
B E A [pause]
And I'll embrace your gift of friendship
As I jack off constantly
[Chorus]
[E]Oh, I[B]'ll be there to l[F#]ift you when you fal[B]l
[E]With one arm around your [B]shoulder and the [F#]other on my bal[B]ls
[E]Oh, i[B]f you need me y[F#]ou just have to call
[G]Cause I'll be next to [F#7]you
Masturbating
[B] [E] [A] [C#]
[B] [E] 1[A], 2, 3, let's do it!
[Verse 2]
[B]Through the [E]good times and the [A]bad
I will do [C#]everything [B]I can
[B]Like if you e[E]ver need help m[A]oving
I can [C#m]jerk off in the[B] van
[B]If your car [E]breaks on the r[A]oad
I'll grab my [C#m]crank and pick y[B]ou up
B E A [Pause]
And we can drive away together
As I lotion up my junk
[Chorus]
[E]Oh, it [B]doesn't matter [F#]where our lives will lead u[B]s
[E]I will always stand be[B]side you, both in s[F#]pirit and in peni[B]s
[E]Oh, ex[B]cuse me but I h[F#]ave to go dry clean this
[G]Cause I've been next to [F#7]you
Mastur[G]bating
[Bridge]
[G]Look, I know this may seem weird,[F#] but it's not
[F#]Every friendship I've ever had has been like this
[G]You should know that I'm not doing this for myself
It's partly for you, [A]but most of all[G], I'm d[A]oing this[F#]
For America!
[Chorus]
[E]Oh, [B]tell me every[F#]thing that's in your hear[B]t
[E]This is Claire, we're gonna [B]make out
You just [F#]go ahead and star[B]t
[E]If it escalates to [B]boning
It means I'm [F#]listening super hard
[G]Cause I'll be next to [F#7]you
[E]Oh, wait, Claire [B]brought a friend
We're [F#]gonna have a threesom[B]e
[E]And a crowd of people's [B]gathered
To watch me b[F#]ang both her and Lis[B]a
[E]Oh, when [B]this is done you and [F#]I are getting pizza
[G]Cause I'll be next to [F#7]you
Mastur[B]bating
[B] [E] [A]Slash having a threesome with [C#m]Clair[B]e
[B] [E] But still masturbating [A]
